I am not done yet but i still would like opinions
-thanks

Do you remember when we first met? The sun was ascending from the luminescent sea, and the seals began to bark from the spur of sudden life. The waves were best for the month of October, and the water was pleasant. The first time I saw you was out in the water, at first I was startled and overwhelmed by the way you projected yourself. You were bold but beautiful, and I could tell you knew what sort of a person you were. When I first saw you in the distance you seemed like a close friend, maybe an old flame, but as I approached I had realized we never before have met. There was this head rush of emotions that were new and unexpected. Yet I was still not sure of the next step I was supposed to take. I had an opportunity to say hello, but I knew I just could not manage wasting that significant gesture. Everything had to be done perfectly, but first I had to get to know everything about you.
It had been two weeks since the first time I saw you. Whenever I was able to get away from the diner, I would drive down to the beach to wait for you. On days I would wait there for hours watching, waiting, and yearning for you to come. Once and a while I would stay until midnight watching from the dunes, for the coppered hair girl I called my own. Some days you would come with friends, and on others you would just sit out on your board at sea and sing to yourself. I enjoyed watching you sing, it was as if you were the only person in the world and i was just a bird admiring your beauty. Time alone in the sea seemed enjoyable to you, I could tell that this place, this time to yourself, was precious. Well, it used to be.
You began coming less often, and that worried me. On the days that you were able to come, you hardly ever sang, and on few occasions did you even attempt to enter the water. It depressed me seeing you like that. I wanted to embrace you to make the hurt stop, and i thought we could sing together to make you forget about your troubles. A few weeks ago I saw his Ford roll up behind your Volks Wagon van, and i could see you shudder at the sound of his footsteps. I watched him grab your arm from behind, and smack your face i felt as If he had hit me. He was young with a large build, and had that strict look in his eye. He was not the kind of man I had ever expected for you. He seemed hateful, and by the swagger in his step he was clearly wasted. I wanted to help you, i felt like i was supposed to run to your side and act as your knight, but i just stood there watching him take away your dignity.
The first time you came with those bruises on your face, I had no idea what to think. Maybe you had fallen down the stairs, I thought to myself. But in the back of my mind I knew it was him. I was lucky to see you once a week, and even then you could stay no more than 30, 40 minutes. Until he would call, and you would run to your car, and drive away to see him. I could only think, what was going to happen when you got there. I tried to delude myself into thinking that he was calling to say he loved you, and how he had just planned surprise dinner reservations, but I knew what the calls were about. He called asking for you to come home and cook him the dinner he heavily did not deserve, he called to say how he was to good for you and that he would leave you, when it should have been the other way around.

It’s really great. I love the description. The second-person narration is a bit odd, but that’s just me. Otherwise, it’s awesome!

I am not done yet but i still would like opinions
-thanks

Do you remember when we first met? The sun was ascending from the luminescent sea, and the seals began to bark from the spur of sudden life. The waves were best for the month of October, and the water was pleasant. The first time I saw you was out in the water, at first I was startled and overwhelmed by the way you projected yourself. You were bold but beautiful, and I could tell you knew what sort of a person you were. When I first saw you in the distance you seemed like a close friend, maybe an old flame, but as I approached I had realized we never before have met. There was this head rush of emotions that were new and unexpected. Yet I was still not sure of the next step I was supposed to take. I had an opportunity to say hello, but I knew I just could not manage wasting that significant gesture. Everything had to be done perfectly, but first I had to get to know everything about you.
It had been two weeks since the first time I saw you. Whenever I was able to get away from the diner, I would drive down to the beach to wait for you. On days I would wait there for hours watching, waiting, and yearning for you to come. Once and a while I would stay until midnight watching from the dunes, for the coppered hair girl I called my own. Some days you would come with friends, and on others you would just sit out on your board at sea and sing to yourself. I enjoyed watching you sing, it was as if you were the only person in the world and i was just a bird admiring your beauty. Time alone in the sea seemed enjoyable to you, I could tell that this place, this time to yourself, was precious. Well, it used to be.
You began coming less often, and that worried me. On the days that you were able to come, you hardly ever sang, and on few occasions did you even attempt to enter the water. It depressed me seeing you like that. I wanted to embrace you to make the hurt stop, and i thought we could sing together to make you forget about your troubles. A few weeks ago I saw his Ford roll up behind your Volks Wagon van, and i could see you shudder at the sound of his footsteps. I watched him grab your arm from behind, and smack your face i felt as If he had hit me. He was young with a large build, and had that strict look in his eye. He was not the kind of man I had ever expected for you. He seemed hateful, and by the swagger in his step he was clearly wasted. I wanted to help you, i felt like i was supposed to run to your side and act as your knight, but i just stood there watching him take away your dignity.
The first time you came with those bruises on your face, I had no idea what to think. Maybe you had fallen down the stairs, I thought to myself. But in the back of my mind I knew it was him. I was lucky to see you once a week, and even then you could stay no more than 30, 40 minutes. Until he would call, and you would run to your car, and drive away to see him. I could only think, what was going to happen when you got there. I tried to delude myself into thinking that he was calling to say he loved you, and how he had just planned surprise dinner reservations, but I knew what the calls were about. He called asking for you to come home and cook him the dinner he heavily did not deserve, he called to say how he was to good for you and that he would leave you, when it should have been the other way around.

It’s really great. I love the description. The second-person narration is a bit odd, but that’s just me. Otherwise, it’s awesome!